Today's my wedding day. My maid of honor, Aneko, is beaming as I walk down the aisle. I know she's very happy for me, but I also know that this moment will remind her of the painful way we met.
Before I got up here, she giggled, saying it felt a little like she was watching me cheat on her brother. I couldn't help but agree.
I had only seen her brother a couple of times and maybe waved at him once. But after meeting Aneko, I felt like I knew him like the back of my hand. His name was Ajal, sweet sweet Ajal. Ajal loved drawing people in the park, was a very good swimmer, and was a devout coffee lover. He was a very shy boy who could hardly speak to a group of three people unless it was his family. His palms got so sweaty during class presentations that he started wearing gloves to keep the paper from getting too wet. He was an average student in school and didn't have many friends. His closest friend was his sister Aneko, who knew all his secrets.
According to Aneko, Ajal first saw me in an outdoor yoga session at a park near my house. He drew me and then watched me until the end of class. He noticed how no one talked to me after class, and I stood alone for a while before leaving. He drew me before I left and never stopped drawing me. He drew me for days, then found my Instagram and continued to draw me. He told Aneko about me a lot. At first, Aneko thought he was stalking me, but she let him be because the drawings were amazing, beautiful illustrations of my face in a light I had never imagined myself in.
Aneko said that he didn't just think I was pretty; he thought I was intelligent, creative, and amazing. I cried when she told me this. When Ajal thought this about me, I was so lonely. I spent my days working and keeping my head down. I had lost all my friends and was living far away from my family. If only I had spoken to him, maybe he would have freed me earlier.
It was a sunny day. I was on my usual route to work, and Aneko and Ajal were on the other side of the street. I noticed them arguing for a bit, both of them sending awkward glances to me. Maybe a minute later, I watched Aneko walk across the street to get to me, looking straight at me the entire time.
'Hi,' she waved while still making her way to me.
'Hey,' I waved back and stopped to wait for her. She had an elegant aura about her, with a hint of edginess. The little white dress she was wearing, coupled with her black combat boots, matched her aura.
'What's your name?'
'Rue'
'Cute name'
'Thank you. What's your name?'
'Aneko'
I nodded in response, waiting for her to state the reason she had come up to me.
'My brother over there has a huge crush on you but is way too shy to come and talk to you,' she said.
I looked over the road to give Ajal a quick scan. He was tall, seemed to work out a bit, and had something awkward about him, as if he had seen a ghost. But other than that, he was really cute, totally my type.
'That's a bummer,' I turned back to Aneko. 'He is so cute; he should have told me himself.' And I walked away. I wanted to play hard to get.
To this day, I wish I had never said that. I wish I had walked over to him and said hi.
I saw Aneko skip across the street from behind me. She spoke to her brother for a couple of minutes. I'm not sure what happened next because I had walked too far ahead to see.
I walked for about a minute or two when I heard the screeching of tires and a high-pitched scream. I turned to find Aneko on her knees at the edge of the street and Ajal's body bloodied and deformed lying on the road in front of a white Toyota truck. He died on impact.
Aneko cried in my arms while the police analyzed the scene. She cried in my arms while they took his body. She cried in my arms while they zipped the bag up. She cried in my arms a little more, and then she left, and I didn't see her for a while after that.
Six months later, I was on my route to work and saw her standing there where her brother had passed away, putting a cross on the island in the middle of the road. I hesitated so much because I felt I was the reason her brother had died. I pulled myself together and went over to her. She seemed to recognize me immediately and without saying a word, she pulled a flower from the white roses she had and handed me one. We stood there in silence for about 20 minutes (at this point, I was late for work).
And then she said, 'Why did you walk away that day?'
'I wanted to play hard to get,' I replied.
And she laughed. Her laughter confused me. I felt really uncomfortable, so I just pretended to laugh.
She took one glance at me and said, 'You probably feel really uncomfortable right now. There's no need to pretend to laugh.'
'I um...'
'Don't do that to yourself. Do you want a ride to work? You must be late now.'
While we walked over to her car, she said that on that day, she was telling her brother that I was just playing hard to get and then nudged him into the road.
Our friendship started as a means of comfort for both of us, but after some time, we became sisters.
Comments